It was a long, long day for my brother, Robert and his wife, Maria. It was a long day of Midtown Manhattan Christmas shopping like it is every December day in preparation for the holidays.
The clock strikes six o’clock. Rob and Maria were so busy shopping, they didn’t get a chance to eat lunch. Needless to say, their tummies are grumbling with hunger. As soon as Maria mutters the words “We’re hungry,” Rob immediately begins the search for a place to grab a bite, because she means herself and the little one on the way.
There’s a diner in walking distance from the Herald Square Macy’s, so Rob and Maria head for the doors that would open into plentiful comfort food. When they enter, the matradee grabs two menus and leads the way to seat the couple at the only empty table in the room. After Rob trying to get his pregnant wife through the tiny crevices between tables and knocking over multiple sets of silverware, the couple finally sits, offers sighs of relief and looks at the menu.
“Jesus Tap Dancing Christ!” exclaims Rob, “I’m soooooooo hungry!”
“Yes,” answers Maria, “me too.” Maria holds her menu over her blushing face when she notices the man sitting at the table 5 inches away looking while they discuss their hunger.
They impatiently wait for the waiter to come over to the table and take their order.
“Can I take your order?”
“Holy Mary, Mother of God!” Rob says, “That bacon cheeseburger sounds like a good choice for a hungry guy!”
He orders the cheeseburger. Embarrassed by her husband, Maria orders something simple – grilled cheese – to mend her hunger . They wait. They talk about what they bought for Christmas, what else is needed for the nursery, and what gifts weren’t purchased yet. Small talk became the only salvation from their hunger. They wait some more. Finally, the waiter comes with their food.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” exclaims Rob, “This cheeseburger looks AMAZING!”
He takes a giant bite and enjoys every second of the juices that flavor the cheeseburger. “Oh my God! This cheeseburger is like the second coming of CHRIST!”
With every bite of this deliciousness, Rob has nothing more to say. He finishes his meal, and sits back in his chair waiting for Maria to finish her meal.
“Holy God, that was a great cheeseburger,” he says to Maria as she finishes her meal.
The man sitting in the table 5 inches away has also finished his meal. He starts to get up to put on his jacket, and Rob finally makes eye contact with the man who was so patiently listening to his hunger exclamations.
“Have a Merry Christmas,” the man said to Rob and Maria. At that moment, Rob noticed the man who was sitting at the table next to them was a priest in full dress – collar and all.
….AWKWARD!!!
I am Awkward 