Can I get your numba?

“Can I get your number?” Is there a phrase more direct and cringe worthy?  The answer to that question depends on whose asking, how the phrase is delivered and whether you’re willing to give up your digits.  For example, when I first met my now boyfriend, he ever so smoothly asked, “Can I have your number, so I can wish you a happy fourth of July tomorrow?” It was cute, and had a purpose behind the request.  Most importantly, I wanted him to have my number.  Plus, it gave me a natural flirting tactic when he didn’t use my number until July 6, obeying the unspoken two-day rule, but not following through on wishing me a happy fourth of July.

There are instances when a guy who thinks he laid the ground work properly blurts out the blunt and dreaded, “Can I get yo numba?” No reason why, no cuteness, just a demand, lacking all social grace and courtship.  Por ejemplo:  Can I get yo numba?

Two good friends of mine, Paul and Erin, went out to a local watering hole one Friday night.  Paul ran into a long lost friend, and got lost catching up in old times.  Erin listened intently for awhile, but a girl can only take so many names she doesn’t know and events she hadn’t been to before getting bored.  Looking around Erin found herself quickly being chatted up by Danny.  Searching for a common topic to discuss, Danny decided Erin herself would be the topic.  He ran through “get to know you,” and  “how you doing” questions at rapid fire.  Erin barely had time to answer.  She tried to hint to Danny that she wasn’t interested.  She went to the bathroom, ordered herself a beer, even tried hitting Paul to get his attention, but nothing would shake the over eager Danny from her side.

Just as Paul and his friend came back into the conversation, Danny got up the nerve to ask, “Can I get your number?”  Clearly too dense to read the signals, Erin quickly responded with, “Oh, just Facebook me.”  Danny left shortly after that, and Erin sighed a breath of relief that she had avoid further contact with her unwanted suitor.  She had setup her Facebook privacy settings tighter than Fort Knox, and knew full well Danny would never find her.  Jovially, she explained what had happened to Paul, and was happy to have avoided the moment of saying, “No, you can’t have my number.”

A few days later, Paul logged into his Facebook account and saw that he had a new message from a Daniel S.  At first, Paul thought it was spam from some bar invite since he wasn’t friends with any Daniel S.  He quickly realized it was Erin’s creeper from Friday night.  Paul opened the message to read:

“Yo Boy”

Werd son, your friend Erin has it going on, and I really need your help.  She told me to find her on Facebook, but the girl is like casper.  Can you send me her number so I can get in touch with her.  Your boy needs a new girl.

Paul sat for awhile, considering how he should respond.  It took him some time to realize that “casper” referred to the friendly ghost who could only be seen when he wanted.  Paul considered being mean.  He could play a trick on Danny boy, or he could just tell it as it is.  Paul opted for the later.  He hit reply and fired away, trying to maintain Danny’s sophisticated language.

“Re: Yo Boy”

Listen son.  Your girl Erin, is my GIRLFRIEND Erin… She told you to friend her on Facebook since she isn’t on Facebook.  It was a nice way of blowing you off.  Sorry Bro.

PS – Common courtesy says you should friend someone before asking for their girlfriends number, just saying.

Needless to say, Paul never got a message back from Danny.  Danny did however send Paul a friend request two days later.  Paul still has it sitting in Limbo.

…AWKWARD!

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128 Comments

Filed under awkward, awkward humor, Awkward Moments, humor, phone fun

128 responses to “Can I get your numba?

  1. Wow, how did he find her boyfriends Facebook? I once joked that I was going to call a girl at 2am to wind her up when I got her number. I had no intention to and went to bed only to have her call me a 1:50am. That was quite cool.

  2. sunnydelyte21

    Oh wow that’s a crazy story…lol

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  4. okay..the dude on the mtv clip was really creepy *hahaha* – but it was pretty realistic – can i just say i can’t stand the lip licking some dudes do – grap some lip lube if your lips are dry!

    erin’s fellow had a clever response – well done!

  5. Wow that dude was really tryin to be with homegirl…. thats crazy…lmao

  6. Wow, how did he find her boyfriends Facebook? I once joked that I was going to call a girl at 2am to wind her up when I got her number. I had no intention to and went to bed only to have her call me a 1:50am. That was quite cool.

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  8. Glad I’m not single yet I still get asked.

    When a guy has digit blinders on, all he can see is that blank spot in his black book waiting for Yo Numbah!

  9. Ah the dreaded, awkward FB friend request. You just know he’s checking hourly to see if Paul accepted it!

  10. HAHAHAHA! Dense much? I think I’d probably say the same thing as her…just facebook me so I don’t have to deal with you. 😉

  11. From a guys stand point all these dating rules and guides for not sucking as dude trying to just get some digits from a female you found interesting or attractive can be a pain in the arse. Was interesting about the “unspoken 2-daqy rule” for after getting a number, never heard that one before.

  12. Our society today… 🙂

  13. Pingback: Can I get your numba? (via I am Awkward) « halliematthews

  14. Such a great post! It makes me want to watch the Mad TV skit for ‘Can I Have Yo Numba??’ Hahaha! Great video! Your post made me laugh and that is something everyone needs on a Monday morning. 🙂

  15. hahahahahaha…rofl!!
    am sure he did NOT get the hint, and probably spent the very next few hours trying to get some other girl’s “numba” 😀

  16. Brilliant story and one we can probably all relate to on some level… Be it the fobber, the fobbers friend or the fobee 🙂

  17. t.

    Facebook Pimpin — denied. Great Post…

  18. SO FUNNY!!!! I have a teenage daughter and she loves that video! OH.. YOU LIKE MIKE-N-IKES?

  19. Harjit Malhi

    WOW!!….Some people just don’t know how to get the message.

    Nice post.(:

  20. Hahaha….What a great post and so funny!!! I have to admit that I have had my fair share of the oh so awkward “Can I get yo number” moments. I’ve either given it or not. I used to feel like I had to give it just because they asked, but have learned that I really don’t have to as I’ve gotten older. Thanks for adding the video clip, too. It was too FUNNY!!!

  21. I liked that the response was given in a similar tone. I would have thought that it would help the guy to more fully comprehend his goof…and yet, it did not.

  22. This was fun…I love the awkward moments. I actually encourage them. Have been at parties with a friend, where our “goal” is to see how long it takes a girl to make an excuse to enable an escape from the conversation. When you TRY to be awkward, it’s even more fun! Awkward = entertaining! (See Carell, Steve, “The Office”)

    Congrats on being Pressed!

    Dug
    http://thf2.wordpress.com

  23. Very entertaining, indeed. So, what’s your number, again? 😕 🙂

  24. I think it would be easier if people were just honest. It would avoid a lot of hassle. Really funny story though.

  25. agree wit the simple life….etc. maybe erin should have been blunt. it would have helped paul to get clued in next time, dontcha think?

  26. this is so funny! lol. congrats on getting fp’ed!

  27. Very entertaining entry and quite awkward indeed. To lie or not to lie…that is the question. I have two mobile phones – One I use all the time and one I can’t even find in my apartment. I suggest giving strangers the number of the latter 😀

  28. Ahaha this is a funny story, so common! I only just realized a guy who took me out on one of the worst dates ever has just ‘unfriended’ and blocked me….I mean, why even bother! There’s no risk I’ll be ever writing to him! When will guys have the gutts to realise FB is not really the right way to approach a girl?? I am sure someone out there knows this!

  29. congrats on being freshly pressed!

  30. Ha! “Werd son”? He really said that? Wow… Maybe that’s why he needed a new girl…
    Thanks for the reminder to us dense-types. I’ve never been good at asking for numbers, but my friends were – not that they ever did anything with them.

  31. alastor993

    Very funny! And sadly so familiar!
    Thanks for the laugh

  32. Oh geeze what a situation. Fun recounting of the details. Thnx

  33. This is a very funny post.
    But I wish woman would get themselves together enough to say, no but thank you, gently,kindly. Especially if you are with guy friends that can offer a back up shield should unwanted attention giver balk and get nasty. Come on girls.
    I strangely enough had some uninvited attention from a man when out with some women friends. I was flattered and surprised. Then one of those friends who is a medical doctor reminded me that most men have an erection every 90 minutes (check your watch fellas) she patted me on the back and said, “Honey you are not all that!”
    Oh well, I told the guy how sweet he was and that I was a grandmother already and he was young enough to be my son and in short go after some younger tail. He wasn’t “fooled” with some fake chase around the internet and I got to practice some honest behavior. JMHO. Take care!

  34. nice.

    but the back of your head is RIDICULOUS!

  35. stevesw

    Great fun post, glad I recieved a comment that recommended to read this.

  36. Nice entry! Well done. 🙂

  37. Funny post and vid xD, allthough I don’t get why Erin didn’t said Paul was her boyfriend at once.

  38. jule1

    I love that sketch. I had a friend years ago who used to get hit up for her # ALL THE TIME. The way she dealt with it was to ask them to give her their number, and she would call them. Worked every time. If she wanted to call, she did, if not, oh well. But the guys gave it to her and backed off.

  39. Shane Sullivan

    You cracked me up. very funny post. Thank you

  40. This is hilarious. Had a similar thing happen with my friends on st.patty’s day.

  41. Brilliantly awkward. If a girl won’t give you her number, totally a sign. I remember doing something similar to a guy – he found my on fbook, messaged me and was just super creep-o. No thank you.

  42. Coolio… good blog because it was really great! I saw that youtube video like a while ago and seemed creepy. but good blog!

  43. Emily Farrington

    Great article especially about facebook.

  44. That is a FANTASTIC story. This is one reason that I write or doodle (besides the fact that is fun!) when I’m at the bar by myself, waiting for a friend to show up etc. etc. That way you can pretend you don’t hear people when they talk to you. Or they think you are strange and won’t talk to you. Either way, it works….and if they STILL insist on trying to chat you up, well reading a strange haiku about beer and it’s realtion to the cosmos to them usually does the trick.

  45. When some guy asks me for my number I just say “10” and walk away.

    Blessings,

    Ava
    xox

  46. haha love it, well done

  47. Bravo. I really enjoyed your blog.

  48. I’ve had guys insist on calling my phone after putting their number in to check I’ve given the right number. After that, I started keeping my phone in the cloakroom when I went out.

  49. GREAT post. Video and everything 🙂

  50. Cams

    I smell a love triangle here:) That damn Danny is looking for love.

  51. wow.Such a perfect love
    Congratulations

  52. That’s hilarious. It actually reads like a joke! I want something like that to happen to me, just so I’ve got the story to tell. Emma

  53. razzlemonster

    Awesome response! I would of done the same…

  54. Some things never change, do they? 🙂
    Cute story!

  55. HAHAHA ohmygod that is so hilarious but wow… awkward! I can’t even begin to imagine how their perspective of social situations works. I mean, really? How is it they think what they’re doing is so attractive? Haha Thanks for the very much needed laugh! Oh and that MAD TV clip is one of my absolute favorites–it never gets old! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  56. Great post.

    I wonder what happened to social niceties, though. Saying things like: “May I buy you a drink or seven, or shall we cut straight to the kinky stuff, while you’re still sober, and have the wherewithal to repel my carnally-implicit advances?”

  57. Ok Mad TV is the bomb. I never get tired of watching that. Too funny. I think we’ve all met a “can I get yo numba” person.

  58. stylistnc

    Haha. Didn’t have facebook when I was younger so could never use that excuse. But one of my favorites was just ” I like girls” and they wouldn’t know what to say. Just an easy way out. And back then we didn’t have cell phones so you could scribble any ol phone number.

  59. Hilarious! I used to give out the number to a very homosexual sex-line instead of my real number when those kinds of guys tried to chat me up. That was always a riot. I wish I could remember that number now, but it’s been years since I felt like I couldn’t just roll my eyes and say, “I don’t think so.”

  60. Hilarious! I’ve been caught in “Can I get your number?” situations a few times to many, and have had to dodge away from these guys to avoid an awkward situation, even though I’m single. 😛

  61. Hahaha! Some people just don’t get it.

  62. oh lawd. another one of those segregate-the-singles pieces. seems to be saying if you’re not perfect, don’t bother.
    be stern and say no to the question. the bloke(s) would prefer it.

  63. hahaha… I totally get you. It happened with me too… People on facebook messaging me, “hey, are you married or single?” Stalkers and Creeps are just… awkward. Great post!

  64. Haha nice. It’s so hard to not be mean when a guy asks you, and you’re not interested. Or so I remember way back in the day. 😉

    Congratulations on being FP!

  65. That MAD tv clip is my fave! You could just give yout a fake number….like to the sex addiction hotline.

  66. MetalFolk

    So….. Numba please 🙂

  67. Hey babe, can I get your #?

  68. The Southern Barb

    Lmaaao, urgggh – the whole, “can I have your number” is so annoying!

  69. magnetysm

    Truly awesome.

  70. me llamo brown

    One time, this happened:

    Some guy: Are you from Tennessee?
    Me: No
    Same d-bag: Because you are the Ten-I-See.
    Me: (silence)
    Same d-bag again: So can I get yo numba.
    Me: No

    It was awkward for me.

  71. As Paul cast about, trying to suss out who this “casper” was, do you think he had a moment of thinking it was Caspar Weinberger?

    Yea, didn’t think so.

    Good story, though!

  72. Love it! Thanks for the laugh, and congrats on FP!

  73. John

    That was a well composed story. Is this for a class? Too bad the girl was not direct with the guy. Being direct sets clear boundaries and that’s important. It communicates what is acceptable and guards against miscommunication.

    • I agree, and wonder why so many of us have such a problem with being as direct as we should, but somehow we think it’s good manners? And we are afraid of rejecting someone. I think guys do things like this also, when they want to stop seeing a girl. They just get her mad so she’ll dump him. Or mysteriously stop calling, instead of showing strength and respect for the person. It is, well…very awkward! Fun post

      • MetalFolk

        Always though this sort of avoiding so called “inconvienient” situations is both ignorant, and dishonest; a little exaggeration there, but as I my friend once told me; “We avoid risks in life, just to reach our grave safely”.

        btw, I enjoyed reading your story!

  74. Hilarious! Gotta wonder how many inches thick Danny’s skull is. I’m not being mean, just saying. K

  75. My brother is like that, no social grace whatsoever, but if he is persistent, and the hour is late enough, he still succeeds. His excuse is his father was a terrible example, old school womanizer, 2 families in two states, etc. He also came from a very small town, I don’t think that the same rules apply in small towns as they do in big towns.

  76. What is wrong with people?!?!?! *cringe*

  77. OMG!!! This was such an awesome post. Loved it!!!! Paul couldn’t have said it any better….while keeping a little bit of humor in there. That’s the best!

  78. That was brilliantly funny – bookmarking!

  79. Funny how we’ve gone from the house number, to mobile number, to “facebook me”! Maybe Paul needs to give Erin something to ward off would-be suitors >winkwink<

  80. Love this post! I loved the Mad TV clip. It’s so true when a guy so dense that he just goes in for the kill. Obviously the girl isn’t interested, but these guys have no social skills and think of women as some kind of deer to hunt, the harder the hunt, the better the kill.

    It doesn’t work that way. If she likes you, it will be obvious. But, yeah, thanks for writing this. 🙂

  81. LMAO!!! I used to give out the phone number to Dial-A-Prayer when someone asked and I didn’t want to give them my actual phone number…

  82. I want to know why people feel the need to be ‘nice’ instead of just telling it like it is. When you tell someone the truth, you are being nice to them by not leading them on, or giving them false hope.

    Our culture is an odd one, that’s for sure.

    [hilarious story, by the way]

  83. Wow. This is hysterical. That goes out to all the persistent men out there just like Danny, who cannot and will not take a hint! Some men are relentless and if you honestly turn them down, you do so at the risk of being insulted. It’s the whole persistence beats resistance mentality, which is agonizingly awkward. Thank God Erin was saved by Paul, despite Danny’s continued FB persistence.

  84. werd son, yo boy needs a new girl, how about yours?? what the hell is wrong with people?? i know a few people like this, and they always manage to out do themselves. kudos to paul for sending the friend request, he probably think that paul is going to try and destroy him within his inner circle.

  85. So many times I pretend I have a boyfriend. It’s wrong, but I do it. Or I laugh it off as a joke.

  86. This is a very funny story. But if I were Erin, I’d opt to be honest and say no thank you. Or, if Paul was her boyfriend, why not just say, thanks, but I have a boyfriend? Dating is tough enough without sending mixed signals or not being honest. Sure, Danny doesn’t sound like my kinda keeper – but he also doesn’t sound like a terrible person either. Let him down easy, but tell the truth, so he has time to move on to someone who would be more welcoming of his advances. That’s what I’d want someone to do to me, if the roles were reversed!

  87. hahhaah 😀 Thank you.
    That is fantastic.
    Go Paul.

  88. It shows how man can be really clueless sometimes, sorry boys 😛 Congrats in making to freshly pressed 🙂

    Here’s another example of boy being clueless… if you’re interested to read…
    http://kateandherlife.wordpress.com/2010/12/11/worst-date-ever/

  89. As a guy, it is very hard to ask a girl “can I have your number?” You provide some very honest advice in a humorous way. Awesome post.

  90. realanonymousgirl2011

    That’s pretty funny. At least Danny waited to the 2 day rule before friending Paul.

  91. Ha! Brilliant! Worthy of being Freshly Pressed. Congrats.

  92. I agree with Derek. There are a lot of people pleasers out there. I call that kind of thing “the masses”. Like if a movie is really popular I might now have wanted to go to it in my 20’s because it was for the “masses”. Although, my uncle created a potatoe chip company and some other food companies and so I care that people who eat his products and buy them are ok. It is kind of a double edged sword, but we all have our own crosses to bear it seems more and more lately.

  93. THAT is hilarious. Poor Danny. I usually lie and say that I can’t give my number out, which is believable if I’ve had enough time to lie about my job. Also, my mom and I crack up about that MadTV sketch. Can I HAVE IT? CAN I? Well played, and congrats on being freshly pressed!

  94. Anthony Derek

    Great topic. Most of us don’t want to hurt anyone else’s feelings but I think we could save a lot of time and wasted energy from all parties, if we would just be more direct in the first place. Danny was being verbally clear with his intentions, thus Erin had the opportunity to be as clear and tell him that she was not interested. It’s ok to say no! We don’t always have to be such frickin people pleasers!

  95. hahahahaahahah this story is awesome.
    I love the casper , and “yo son”
    hahaha.

  96. Oh the dreaded first move.. it is so difficult to get the balance right, and trying to read signals and interpreting them (mostly wrong) and agonizing wether to say anything, and bat eyelashes in hopes that he would notice, or indeed try to hide behind a friend or answer in one or two word sentences hoping h would get the hint and just disappear…lol.. dating is a minefield!

  97. Katie Gou

    It is even more awkward if you have your phone in your hand and somebody asks for your number! You can’t say “I don’t have a phone!” or “I don’t know my number and I don’t have my phone with me!”. It happened to me and the suspect in question didn’t take the eventual let down very well. I felt I had to give him my number because I had my phone in my hand. Veeeery awkward!

  98. Yo girl you sounds like fun……..lemme get dem digits yoooo!!!!!! Fo realllzzzz!

  99. theveryhungrybookworm

    oh wow. I love awkward situations. Glad to know that awkward things happen to people besides yours truly.

  100. Omw. Funny! Great post, definitely made me laugh this morning.

  101. I can sympathize with Erin, a lot of men don’t get the point. I also can relate to the video you posted, it’s pretty much what happened to me last month with several different people. Maybe next time I will be more direct and say ” I am not interested, thanks and good bye.” But you know what will happen with these guys that can’t take no for an answer, they’ll say something along the lines of ” Oh you ain’t all that, telling me you’re not interested.. Sheeeiit.”

  102. That was a good story. Funny how people (even me at times) don’t get the subtle hints people drop. I am not dating, am happily married…more talking about everyday hints people don’t get. Sometimes I think it is best to just politely as possible say “Sorry. this isn’t working for me” or “can I tell you the truth???” Anyway… real good story. I liked it.
    Blessings, Kevin

  103. blackshepherd

    nice post/topic…I vote to give Danny a break now since he heeded your advice and humbly asked for your friendship…so offer it “with boundaries”…we all need help negotiating relationships. No one comes into this life knowing all the rules for sure…we all learn through the grace of those more graceful than ourselves. Give him the benefit of the doubt. A creep would not have submitted his friend request two days later…he would have retaliated. You have a friend waiting in Limbo…are you Satan or Jesus for him? Plus, Erin’s a big girl (I assume) and should set her own boundaries as much as possible. Of course there is some overlap sometimes…you both sound like together people and Danny needs some training and has asked for it…peace.

  104. Funny, although I don’t think it will ever replace… 867-5309 and poor Jenny.

  105. When I was in college my fiance drove me home from class one evening in warm Phoenix, AZ. I liked that. He came into my apartment after for a little bit.

  106. The Single Girl

    Haha this is hilarious… great post!

  107. This post is awesome! Hopefully it’ll help some people realise that if someone doesn’t give you their number, it means that they’re not interested. End of story. “Can I get your numba” is about the worst question that a girl could possibly hear…

    Love this post! And congrats on getting Freshly Pressed!

  108. nesha

    I honestly think that only a desperate man is the only type of person that would ever approach a woman like that. Those time of men seem to think that they are God’s gift to women. When clearly he’s not. Therefore, I agree with you on it’s all in how the man apporaches you and asks for your number as well as how he looks.
    Great post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed 🙂
    http://anubianqueen.wordpress.com

  109. I had never thought about why this skit was so funny before. One of the young men in my youth group showed it to me a couple of years back and I have not been able to get it out of my head. Your story about Danny, Erin and Paul makes it abundantly clear now why this skit is so hilarious. Thanks for the great post, and have a blessed day. Jason

  110. Well, at least Danny followed through …unlike July 4 dude.

    Gotta love Facebook for its screening potential!

    😉

  111. I don’t miss the dating scene, however, I do miss the butterfly feeling you get when a cute guy you want to your number smoothly asks you for it. It’s exciting when a guy confidently and purposefully asks for you number. Too funny that Danny friend requested Paul…son.
    http://www.dontmakethatface.com

  112. wow. Couldn’t erin have just saved the trouble and said so herself? Sounds really complicated.

    Funny, though. 🙂

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