Can I get your numba?

“Can I get your number?” Is there a phrase more direct and cringe worthy?  The answer to that question depends on whose asking, how the phrase is delivered and whether you’re willing to give up your digits.  For example, when I first met my now boyfriend, he ever so smoothly asked, “Can I have your number, so I can wish you a happy fourth of July tomorrow?” It was cute, and had a purpose behind the request.  Most importantly, I wanted him to have my number.  Plus, it gave me a natural flirting tactic when he didn’t use my number until July 6, obeying the unspoken two-day rule, but not following through on wishing me a happy fourth of July.

There are instances when a guy who thinks he laid the ground work properly blurts out the blunt and dreaded, “Can I get yo numba?” No reason why, no cuteness, just a demand, lacking all social grace and courtship.  Por ejemplo:  Can I get yo numba?

Two good friends of mine, Paul and Erin, went out to a local watering hole one Friday night.  Paul ran into a long lost friend, and got lost catching up in old times.  Erin listened intently for awhile, but a girl can only take so many names she doesn’t know and events she hadn’t been to before getting bored.  Looking around Erin found herself quickly being chatted up by Danny.  Searching for a common topic to discuss, Danny decided Erin herself would be the topic.  He ran through “get to know you,” and  “how you doing” questions at rapid fire.  Erin barely had time to answer.  She tried to hint to Danny that she wasn’t interested.  She went to the bathroom, ordered herself a beer, even tried hitting Paul to get his attention, but nothing would shake the over eager Danny from her side.

Just as Paul and his friend came back into the conversation, Danny got up the nerve to ask, “Can I get your number?”  Clearly too dense to read the signals, Erin quickly responded with, “Oh, just Facebook me.”  Danny left shortly after that, and Erin sighed a breath of relief that she had avoid further contact with her unwanted suitor.  She had setup her Facebook privacy settings tighter than Fort Knox, and knew full well Danny would never find her.  Jovially, she explained what had happened to Paul, and was happy to have avoided the moment of saying, “No, you can’t have my number.”

A few days later, Paul logged into his Facebook account and saw that he had a new message from a Daniel S.  At first, Paul thought it was spam from some bar invite since he wasn’t friends with any Daniel S.  He quickly realized it was Erin’s creeper from Friday night.  Paul opened the message to read:

“Yo Boy”

Werd son, your friend Erin has it going on, and I really need your help.  She told me to find her on Facebook, but the girl is like casper.  Can you send me her number so I can get in touch with her.  Your boy needs a new girl.

Paul sat for awhile, considering how he should respond.  It took him some time to realize that “casper” referred to the friendly ghost who could only be seen when he wanted.  Paul considered being mean.  He could play a trick on Danny boy, or he could just tell it as it is.  Paul opted for the later.  He hit reply and fired away, trying to maintain Danny’s sophisticated language.

“Re: Yo Boy”

Listen son.  Your girl Erin, is my GIRLFRIEND Erin… She told you to friend her on Facebook since she isn’t on Facebook.  It was a nice way of blowing you off.  Sorry Bro.

PS – Common courtesy says you should friend someone before asking for their girlfriends number, just saying.

Needless to say, Paul never got a message back from Danny.  Danny did however send Paul a friend request two days later.  Paul still has it sitting in Limbo.

…AWKWARD!